Dat klopt | Hoofdstuk 3

That's right | Chapter 3

There we are.

The building is deserted, the chairs are empty, all the laptops are untouched on the desks, no telephone still rings. The offices suddenly seem much bigger than they were.

The silence is oppressive, it is so empty without all the energies of the employees. Foreign. I really chose this, but it doesn't feel pleasant. A hint of panic overtakes me: what have I done?! Deep sigh. That helps, another sigh. I slowly breathe deeply through my stomach and let the fear disappear from my mind through my belly breathing. Back to who I am, back to why I made this choice. A new beginning, for me. It's retarded, now I'm standing here in an empty building. Was all this necessary to achieve my freedom of choice? Can I only now do what I was unable to do until last week? In my brain, the chains that held me seem to dissolve into the past. My thoughts wander to the difficult issues, the press that delved into them, nights that we had to work through (“On and on”, hihi, it's that time again!). One moment, my Mamsie's birthday, where I only arrived late at night due to such a time-consuming situation. That was so sad, I promised her I would cook for the guests. Nothing spectacular, but she always liked that “nothing could go wrong”, that was her insecurity, because she was a more than excellent cook. When I came in, she just asked, without an ounce of disappointment or reproach, "Did it work?" Yes, my mommy, the sweetheart. I can't turn back time to do it again. I file it under the heading “things go the way they go” and let it go. The past is about bringing back beautiful memories and reliving the happiness of that time, not about blaming yourself for things you didn't do. The future is for those things yet to be discovered, it will bring you time to do what you always wanted to do. It starts now! Isn't it nice when you realize that “now” is “constant”. You can always make new choices and adjust your plans based on what you have learned. How amazing! Some things from the past cannot be erased, they entail responsibilities that you must take and bear. That is sometimes not easy, but it teaches you to deal with it creatively and still give it a positive turn.

"There's a cake in the kitchen." Lotte breaks my train of thought. 'Huh? How is that possible?' I look at her questioningly and walk straight over. From a distance I recognize the box from my favorite pastry chef, a permanent fixture here at the company when I had something to celebrate. Lotte follows me closely. 'That's strange, did you order something?' I look at her. "Of course not, we have to watch our leash a bit," I say laughing and open the box. This is filled with the most beautiful works of art. Of course they are just pastries, but they are so beautiful, each made with love and it shows. I look in the box and on the lid. Underneath… nothing. 'What are you looking for?' Lotte asks. "A card or something, who had this delivered?" Then I turn around and see a large bouquet with my favorite flowers on the kitchen table, white of course. I look at Lotte. 'What is this?' I do not understand anything about it. There is also no card on the bouquet. I realize that my new life has begun, let it happen and accept what is. The eternal control may go.

'Do you want me to call the bakery or the florist?' Lotte asks. 'No, we can leave it like that. It is clearly from someone who knows me well and this person has therefore chosen to do it this way. Let us resign ourselves to not knowing who it came from, apparently that was the intention. Let's eat the cake!'

I happily swing the box onto my arm and, with my free hand, grab a few forks and plates from the cupboard. "Will you bring the tea?"

Naturally, I asked Lotte to stay as long as there is enough work. We still have a significant number of things to arrange: the tax buyout, closing the annual accounts, canceling cleaning services and security, it's still quite a lot. To my great delight, she told me yesterday that she had discussed working less with her husband for good. She keeps track of what's going on here and then focuses on her children and volunteer work. When she told me, I shouted 'thank you' again. It's so nice that I can continue to count on her. The BVs will continue to exist, mail will continue to arrive. When I'm gone, someone has to look after the bank accounts and things like that.

"Oh yes, Lotte, I want to discuss that with you."

In response she looks at me questioningly.

"Would you also like to keep track of my private mail while I'm away?"

I'm leaving. That's for sure. Last weekend I thought about it quietly. Asia, with its ancient culture, has always attracted me. I've been there many times. The many visits and the books I have read only increase my curiosity about the unknown forces, there is still so much to discover there.

'Of course I will, that's what I was counting on. Do you already know where you are going, have you organized your thoughts yet?' she asks with interest.

'Indeed I have. It remains the first inspiration of my heart; it will be Myanmar, the former Burma. The borders there are now opening, world trade with Myanmar will increase. I think now is the time to get to know the residents and all the cultural treasures in their original state.'

'Is that safe?' she asks. She actually knows it's a pointless question. I made up my mind.

'People live all over the world, including there. They face the same things as we do, just in a different dimension due to circumstances.'

Oh well, what is “safe” then? Here in the Netherlands too, you can be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I look forward to immersing myself in another world. Completely away from it all. Now it is possible, everything is possible. I'm free. Free from the company, free from people I should care for. This is a unique moment. I realize more and more how special it is that I can experience this, even though fate has brought me here. "Thank you," I shoot upstairs again and throw myself into the work that still needs to be done.

'Lotte, shall we set a deadline for when we must complete the final steps? Then we at least have a date by which it must be completed and we can inform everyone who is still involved, such as the real estate agent and the accountant. A kind of stick behind the door.'

"I was just thinking about that too," Lotte says and we burst out laughing. Wonderful, this.

'Ding Dongggg, Miss Pijunghoo from Nigeria, you are delaying the flight.'

Wow, time has flown by. Everything is arranged, my house mostly empty, my car in storage. I am gone! Without a laptop! Wow, this feels special, different. A wave of joy goes through me.

"I didn't know which tea you wanted, I brought them all for you, maybe there's something you can use on the plane or there."

"Oh, that's sweet!"

Ray took me to Schiphol. My luggage has been checked in and we are having a cup of tea in the coffee corner. Haha, chuckle. Tea in the “coffee corner”.

Dear, I'm going to the continent where tea was invented and as smart as I can be, I tell him in a nice way. We both laugh out loud. Naturally, I thank him for the thoughtful gesture and the tea disappears into my backpack.

We chat about trivial things. It's strange, we speak to each other so often, but of course not anymore in the near future. Two continents, the time difference and the calling costs will not contribute to our daily chit-chat. We are so different and yet incredibly good friends, so nice. This “coincidentally” grew that way and we never lose each other. There is no love involved, not at all. Loving, based on deep friendship, conviviality and sharing things. It feels very strange sitting here. Just like everything felt strange lately. There's something in the air. I don't know what yet, but I'm on my way there.

I quickly secured a nice seat on the plane. Two chairs for myself, I wouldn't have dared to think of it. Soon Roy, the employee of my favorite restaurant who "coincidentally" sits a few seats away, slides into the empty seat next to me. We chat and play games. He dutifully gets us both drinks. The twelve hours will be over soon. Thailand, this is where I need to be to be able to continue to Myanmar. You are not allowed to fly directly onto it. Roy continues to Australia, he is only half way there!

We say hello to each other somewhere at the airport in Bangkok. Now I'm really alone. I look for my connecting flight and doze off while I wait in the departure lounge.

Read further? click here for the complete book.

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